Andys andre gjesteopptreden

Andy har beskrevet disse to dagene så treffende at jeg har tatt de med i den norske utgaven også

Yes,we are still in RENNES, you may remember friends, that I left you with me in the bar and Bertha, the East German beast, our van, had expired. Do we have a gig tonight? Yes we do.
.... My eyes open, It's morning. 10am. Have to get on. What happened last night? Got to get the Beast to a mechanic. Our new friend Vincent knows one, good. Vincent also has a van he can lend us, great. Flippin heck! Is there anything this man cannot do for us! He's so helpful!
Okay, I'm gonna stay in Rennes with the Beast and the equipment of both bands. Stuarts gonna head back on the train to Nantes to link up with the PA we've hired for the show tonight.
Paul and Justine go also. Paul will be trying to hire another van in Nantes for the next four days. So we can still play with Razorlight in Paris tomorrow. And for our following gig in Switzerland the day after. Justine's gonna go to the hotel and rest.
When they've all left. Alex, Vincent and me make our way to Vincents studio to pick up his van. It's seen better days. It's a veteran of the road. It moves. So I'm happy.
We then drive around to the Beast. Buying some oil on the way. We decide it's best not to start it and drive to the machanic afterall. So we toe it instead.
Vincent hooks up the Beast to the veteran with a chain. This breaks a couple of timesand it's getting quite short. Yeah and he likes to drive fast aswell! I constantly have my foot on the brake. Which isn't working properly cuz it's powered by the engine which obviously isn't running. So I've got my hand on the handbrake for comfort.
After dropping the old Beast off. We return to Vincents where he makes us some pasta for lunch before we go back to the venue where the gear is to be loaded up at 2pm intoVincents van.
We actually didn't get there until 3pm. The rest of The Dudes- Giles, Olivier and lorralane are there to help with the pack. 20min later and it's all loaded. Stuffed full.
Stu then calls, and I assure him that we are about to make our way to Nantes and would arrive on time. And that workers from the town counsil were already pouring sand on the oil dumped by the Beast the night before.
The rest of the Dudes go off to get ready.
Alex and me hop in the van. He turns the key in the ignition...
Nothing happens!!! "Don't do this to me Alex!" I said. "I'm sorry, I don't know why It isn't starting!", he says. So he tries it again... Still no life. Is it the right key?? We try the others. Yes it's the right key.
All it would do was make this 'click' sound. I don't believe this!! Alex gives Vincent a call. His puzzled response is,"Well it's never done that before!" Shit, Shit, Shit!!! It's in more or less the same spot where the Beast broke down. Weird.
So we sit there for a while and the only thing there is to think about is 'what are we gonna do? Apart from it being Alexs' birthday. Happy Birthday mate I says.
I call stu. He advises we push start it. But the van is facing up a bit of a slope. And it's now too heavy to push, what with all our equipment inside, so that it faces the other way. We sit there simmering for another 10 minutes scratching our heads, looking under the bonnet. Then of course! Lets reverse start it!
I could see there was enough time for us to roll it backwards downhill when the on coming traffic was stopped by the junction at the bottom of the hill. "Are you sure that will work?" Alex enquired. "Oh yes, I've done this many times before!".
So when the lights at the bottom of the hill changed red. And all the traffic had cleared. I let the handbrake off and Alex pushed. Then put the Van in reverse, got some speed going, trying not to hit the parked cars at the side of the road I then let the clutch up. And the van burst into flames.
No not really. But you almost believed me didn't you? No it bleedin started didn't it. Alex jumped with joy into the air! I leapt out of the drivers seat so happy! Best birthday present Alex ever had. We're off.
First to the gas station to fill up. "Don't turn that engine off!". We meet up with the rest of the Dudes again at the filling station.
Other than Vincent filling part of the radiator with what he thought was coolent, but was actually windscreen washer!! Other than that, the journey back to Nantes passed without incident. Alex and me chatted, laughed and sometimes sang to ourselves or pretended to play drums on the dashboard when we had nothing to say.
Finally arriving in Nantes outside the venue at 20 past 6. The show was fantastic that night. But maybe a bit too loud. Justine lost a bit of her voice the next day as a result of that. Sorry Jus. I stayed after the rest of Mass went back to the hotel. I was with some good friends of Nantes. Stephanie, Xavier and a friend of theirs, Morgan. Had some more laughs out of that day. Always find it hard to let go of the night though and go to bed.
Eventually we moved on to another bar. It was closed but Xavier knows the barstaff and they invited us to join them for a drink in the backroom/store room. Where they bring in two full jugs of lager. And refill them every so often. There we stand around and chat.
There are 9 of us in there. And five of them are barmen! Barmen from all over town. I'm the only englishman. I don't mind them talking french to each other. I'm so drunk by this time I can hardly speak english myself.
After being taught how to pronounce "puton de merde!" which I believe means "piece of shit!". I repeat this several times in different tones, encouraged by my new pissed french tutor. Then Stephanie turns to me and asks if I feel M.A.S.S. is more of a punk rock band? I miss heard her. I said we would love to play there and that I had never been. They all looked puzzled.
I'd thought she'd said Bangkok! My! How we laughed.

Andys gjesteopptreden

Andy har begynt å skrive dagbok på den engelske utgaven og disse to innleggene var så beskrivende at jeg har tatt de med her.

Rennes/Nantes
You know, this diary writes itself. You just can't make this stuff up!!Some of this might sound a bit far fetched. But not for this far reaching band. We're about to leave Paris for Switzerland. But let take it back a couple of days. Could do with getting some sleep but I have to write this now before the memory fades.
Excert from postcard home... "The van is burning a bit of oil. And we're a tad worried about this. Don't wanna brake down and be stranded anywhere"

Heading up to RENNES was pleasant enough. Apart from that it was pissing down. Real fat rain. Finding the venue was a doddle. No fun there. Tonight we play in MONDO BIZARRO! Its a nice enough place. Mainly dark inside but for a stage light in red that lit the corner of the room.
Met Bruno the venue manager. He shows us around to the dressing room. Making sure we are alright by showing us the fridge full of beer.

Show we did tonight was banging!!! Great response and thanks to Frederic Villemin for the photos.
Sold a few T-shirts, albums, posters and patches. I spoke 'Drunk' to a few people who spoke the language as well.
Support band were a great bunch. The Dude they are called. Singer Alex, tall chap with a big heart. Giles the guitarist, all dressed sharp. Olivier Drums, is equally warm and friendly. Lorralane (I think I've spelt that wrong) Bassist, is a fair girl. And Vincent their soundman had to be one of the funniest Vincents I've ever had the pleasure to meet.
Couldn't have been with a better bunch, luckily, because things were about to take a turn for the worst.
We had just started loading out the gear, when stuart comes in, "Come and have a look at this people!", he says.
It's not good. Stu had started the van up just to move it forward a couple of metres, but that journey was a metre too far. I've never seen a van surrender before, the way this one did. Looked like the bottom of the engine had dropped out! A huge puddle of oil marked the place where stu had started his mammouth drive. And another one had formed where he had stopped. Oil still gushing out onto the road. We can't believe this! But really we can!!
The Beast (what I'll call it now) had been threatening mutany soon after we had picked it up in Germany and hit the first highway. You couldn't go above 110kmh without it overheating. The bloody thing is so blooming overloaded!
Can't say I'm gonna miss the luggage falling down on the back of my head everytime we brake sharpish.
My favourite bag to knock me out was Jonnys main closet. Proper dense thing with sturdy hard plastic edges to protect it from getting damaged when flying through the air toward my soft bonce.
I bare the bumps of two other bags that did the same. Heavy weights, you know, in the same line of work as Jonnys. Only slightly more forgiving. They got wheels on because they're too heavy to carry. Well, we all stood around looking at the crude saying oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!!What are we gonna do now? Logic starts then panic. The Dudes offer up some alternatives. After not having much luck finding a van tonight. Not until the morning anyway. So they offer us a place to stay for the night at Vincents pad. We in return invite them to play with us in Nantes the next day. They accept. Then we head back into the bar to get hammered. Again.
We must have got around to Vincents place by 3.30am. Drank a few more beers and a type of whiskey that Vincents Grandmother makes. Apparently it's illegal to make unless you are in his Grandmothers generation. Anyone younger than her generation are forbidden by law to brew it. But not to drink it, thankfully. Can't remember what it was called "Grannys Best"or "Nans Armpit". I can't decide.
Anyway Stuart has gone to bed but I don't reckon he's getting any sleep at the moment. The Dudes are fighting over the stereo which is playing a kind of Captain Beefheart type band - Angular and heavy. AND IT'S REALLY FECKING LOUD!!! They must have the volume wacked up full because I can't feel my legs and my nose is starting to bleed!

Pozega

Oooohhh, snakk om hodepine. Det ble litt for lystig i går, Andy og meg kom ikke tilbake til hotellet før kl.0500. Heldigvis kan vi sove lenge, vi skal kun kjøre 2 timer til Pozega og spille.. Drar fra Zagreb i 1300 tiden. Vi fikk dessverre ikke tid til å gå å se i sentrum, Jonny og Skinny var der og de sa det var helt fantastisk. Men vi har bestemt oss, vi vil tilbake til Kroatia. Kommer til Pozega og det er småby midt i landet. Det greie med å reise her er at avstandene ikke er så lange, vi dro tvers gjennom Slovenia i går på 2 timer og to timer lenger øst fra Pozega er grensen til Serbia…
Gjor unna lydsjekk og blir så invitert hjem til arrangøren sin mor. Hun har laget tradisjonell Kroatisk mat og det smakte himmelsk. Etter 2 uker med fast food er dette en kjerkommen forandring. Spiser som noen ulver og slapper av ett par timer på hotellet før konserten. Gjør unna en grei konsert, etter i gar er det litt som ett antiklimaks men det er jo jobben vår så vi gir jernet og tar en litt tidlig natt for i morgen må vi dra kl.0700 til østerrike.

Seier i Zagreb

Dro tidlig om morgenen for vi må vaere i Kroatia for ett intervju kl.1500. Vi var litt nervøs når vi naermet oss grensen for vi hadde hørt at det kunne ta ganske lang tid og komme over grensen. Det var også en uhorvelig mengde papirabeid vi måtte ha med oss men når vi kom der ble vi sluppet gjennom pa 2 minutter.Fett…..
Kroatia er ett vakkert land. Det er billedskjønt her og har middelhavstemperatur nesten hele året så no kastes jakken og solbrillene monteres. Gjør unna intervjuet og blir fortalt at Universal i Kroatia gir ut platen var i morgen så det var gode nyheter. Kommer til konsertlokalet og blir møtt av en fotograf fra Playboy. De vil gjore en reportasje om oss så han er sendt for a ta bilder av oss. Gjør unna fotosession, dessverre ingen bunnyer men men. Vi kommer hvertfall i Playboy og det er jo superfett..
Og for en konsert, stedet er stappfullt.. kapasiteten er 350 og alle billettene var revet vekk pa forhånd. Vi føler oss som rockestjerner og ser at vi kanskje har mulighet til a bli stor i Kroatia. Leverer en av våre beste konserter noensinne og stedet eksploderer.. Gjør 4 ekstranummer og de vil fortsatt ha mer. Etterpå er det totalt kaos, alle t-shorter og effekter blir solgt ut og alle vil snakke med oss og få autografer. Gjør noen flere intervjuer og går så ut pa bar med promotoren…

Mass er I byn……

Reisedag

Fikk kun 5 timers søvn. Kom til motellet kl.6 og vi må dra kl 11 igjen. Jay, vår nye turnemanager, sjafør, lydmann, barnepike og venn har tatt over for 8 dager. Jeg kunne se at når Manageren dro i går hadde han ikke lyst i det hele tatt for no går turneen til Kroatia. Vi skal spille i Zagreb og Pozega.Det er en ganske lang reise så i dag skal vi kjøre til Salzburg,
Kommer til Salzburg kl.2230 og har en matbit, så blir vi jaget til sengs av Jay for det er en tidlig start i morgen.

Wuppertal

Har en 7 timers kjøretur foran oss. De lange avstandene begynner no. Vi skal spille i Wupperthal. En middels tysk by hvor den største attraksjonen er toget som går gjennom byen oppe i luften. En blanding av et vanlig tog og ulriksbanen. Stedet derimot, hvor vi spiller er superfett. Det er en stor buet hall med en 2 meter høy scene. Med gigantiske dyrehoder på veggen. Ser ut som Valhall. Gjennomforte en grei konsert men etterpå må vi forte oss. De vil ha alt utstyret ut av stedet pa 20 min. Vi ma rett i bilen igjen. Manageren skal fly tilbake til England sa vi drar til Frankfurt og sender han avgarde og får oss noen timers søvn på ett motel ved flyplassen.

Hamburg

På tur igjen med vår nye bandbil. Ikke spesiellt behagelig men vi skal kun kjøre 3-4 timer i dag. Er på vei til Hamburg hvor vi skal ha konsert på Reeperbahn. Snakk om å slå to fluer i en smekk…..Spiller på ett sted som heter Wehltbunne og i tråd med strøkets tradisjoner var hele stedet rødt. Fra plysh til stålamper, alt var i rødt. Blir møtt av arrangøren og han er som snytt ut av en amerikansk gangsterfilm.( vi døper han umiddeltbart for Bugsy).
Konserten var en suksess. Vi måtte spille 3 ekstranummer og de ville fortsatt ha mer. Drev og hang i klubben etterpå og preiket med folk. Møtte en fyr som hadde sett oss spille 3 ganger i Tyskland. Vi begynner å få skikkelige fans no…kult. Litt senere inviterte Bugsy oss ut på en runde i strøket for å se lokale severdigheter...